Reminders
by RyuArashi
Summary: One shot. AU. Zell and Squall views of each other.


Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to SquareSoft. Much to my great sorrow.  
  
* sob *. The weirdness and original characters belong to me.  
  
  
  
Authors Note: The view points of the characters are obvious-if they aren't, I'll reveal who is who next time.  
  
1 Reminders  
  
He reminds me of the moon.  
  
So sublimely beautiful, silent and fiery, he invokes poetry in my soul. Looking at him, I see the mysteries in his soul, by looking at his eyes. When I look at him, I long to see into his soul to solve every riddle hidden in its depths.  
  
I read somewhere that in many cultures, women believe that the moon was an all-powerful entity that presided over mystery, magic and the night. Because of this, the moon was worshipped and treated with awe and reverence. Looking at him, I can believe it. Of course, the moon is just a satellite that doesn't even have a light of its own. But I don't see it that way. The moon affects everything around it, drawing in everything, shaking everything. But its pull is so subtle, we almost never notice it. That is exactly how he is. He affects everything and everyone around him- and he doesn't even realize it.  
  
He looks like he is totally oblivious, of course. Because he hardly ever says anything, most people think he is emotionless. But that's so far from the truth, it's almost laughable. Underneath all that ice lays a soul so fiery and passionate, that when we come together, the heat we generate almost burns me alive.  
  
I love and want him, need him so much, it's scary. I'm scared to think of what I'll do if anything ever happens to him or what he'll do if anything ever happens to me. He's extremely possessive and protective-but he never lets the way he feels get in the way of our duties, of course. He is the Commander of SeeD, after all. But when we get back to our room at night, after all is said and done, he goes out of his way to show how feels for me. He's never told me, of course. That isn't the way he operates, but I don't doubt how he feels. I don't need the words from him. It's enough that he chose me.  
  
I asked him the reason why he did. I just wanted to know, because I don't think I'm the kind of person he would have gotten with. He just smiled that really enigmatic smile of his-one so devastating because it's so rare-and gave me a kiss so hot, it curled my toes and said, "You brought me light." He never did explain what he meant by that.  
  
I don't think I would ever feel for another person the way I feel about him. He is all I ever want in a person, all I'll ever need. I'm gonna love him till all the breath is gone from my body. It's a toss up who'll go first, though. If we don't go together, it's guaranteed one will follow the other. But for now, I just want to be with him, for now and always.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
He reminds me of the sun.  
  
So bright and full of life. Sometimes warm, sometimes fiery to the touch. He spreads his light everywhere he goes. Every single time I'm with him, I just want to lose myself in that warmth.  
  
Sol. The star that burns ever brightly, the star that gives life. I read somewhere that many cultures worshipped the sun as the mightiest of life giving entities, without which a world would be a cold, barren wasteland. That is exactly how I saw myself. Until I met him.  
  
Yes, it's true that meeting Rinoa changed me and made me confront a lot of the problems I had. But being with him now made me realize how little we had in common and how little she understood me. I don't think being with her in the long run would have made me happy indefinitely-at least as happy as a person with my psyche can get. Being the kind of girl she is, she'd always wanted to know what was going on with me, why won't I talk to her, how do I feel about her, and so on. In the end, that would have driven me crazier than I already am.  
  
Yeah, I consider myself crazy. How could I not be, after all I've seen and been through as a SeeD? And now I'm the Supreme Commander. That's a laugh. I don't know where they all got the idea that I can lead anyone out of a paper bag. But it seems to work out, somehow. I truly believe it's all because of him.  
  
He gives me the lowdown on the students, what the current rumor mill is spinning, how everyone is feeling. He is definitely the Vice-Commander, unofficially anyway. He wouldn't let me promote him, because he said it smacks of nepotism and he doesn't want the added responsibility, anyway.  
  
He completes me in some indefinable way. We were friends of sorts-he says he considered me his best friend-I still reel when I remember that statement. I never thought anyone would consider me an acquaintance, much less a best friend. I think I definitely fell in love with him, unconsciously then.  
  
The clincher came when Rinoa decided I wasn't what she wanted in the end. Everyone made sympathetic noises, fussed, and basically made a nuisance of themselves. They all wanted to know how I was feeling, what was I going to do, etc. They just couldn't get the fact that I wanted to be left alone. For some strange reason, I ended up his room. He took one look at my face, grabbed his jacket and we hopped on his motorcycle and quietly drove to his home in Balamb.  
  
I spent three days there, and that was the end of my loneliness.  
  
All through my stay at his house, he handled everything. I never realized how good he is with details. Even though we've known each other for a long time, I only knew him as an exceptional warrior, never as a person. My stay with him revealed facets of his personality that I never knew existed.  
  
He's just as neat as I am, he writes poetry and draws in his spare time. He loves comics, music and he sings like a professional tenor. He also is capable of long periods of silence, especially if the person he's with is silent. He does get restless, and loves to shadowbox to occupy him if he doesn't have a book handy.  
  
I'm so crazy about him, I scare myself sometimes. I love and need him so much, that sometimes, I deliberately try to assign myself to extremely difficult missions so I can see if I can handle being away from him and to give myself space. Without his knowledge, of course. If he ever knew, I know he'd be hurt that I felt the need to put myself in danger just to get away from him. But how can I explain to him that I'm obsessed with him? That if he ever left me I would follow him, kill him and then kill myself? The oddest thing is, I've never told him how I feel about him. For some reason, the words stick in my throat. I have this weird thought that my saying it would jinx the relationship we have now. It's stupid, I know, but that how I feel.  
  
I say he reminds me of the sun because his light illuminated the cold, dark, barren wasteland that is my soul. His smile is all I would ever want and need. Being with him makes me truly happy. This is the first time I've ever felt this way being with someone. I realize now that he just doesn't remind of the sun, he is my sun. One day, I will tell him how really feel about him. Till then, I plan on keeping him as happy as he makes me. 


End file.
